inspiration

OK, so I just spent an hour walking around the park and listening to my ipod. Nature and music, two of my favorite things, grouped together. As I walked along, I thought about where I chose to walk. Most ppl would suspect that I'm a trail kind of girl (actually, most ppl probably think that I'm a stay indoors kind of girl), but I tended to stay off the concrete paths today. I walked in the muddy grass, among the trees and trampling over the fallen leaves. (I wish there had been snow.) It reminded me of the story in the bible about taking the road less traveled. It's blessed me so far. I know that I made the right decision. Besides, the nature and fun is more likely to be found on the road less traveled. OK, profound moment over. I'm gonna go work on my book, or read one...

falalalaloser

I absolutely love christmas!!! but right now, my brain is a little preoccupahdoe. See, my friend from school is supposed to be asking this guy I like whether or not the feeling is the same for him. She hasn't talked to him yet, and I'm getting impatient. I know it's sorta juvenile to have a friend ask instead of doing it myself, but I've been hurt before, and I'd like to stay away from that possibility. I feel like a kindergartener, but I don't want to be embarrased. I feel like if I keep asking her about it, I'll annoy her, and I don't want to do that, but I really want to know how he feels. High School drama... ugghhh.

On a lighter note, I'm writing a book. The title is two for one, and it will be a young adult novel. I'm only on chapter 3, but the goal is to be done before I turn 16. When I am finished, I plan to send it to a publisher. How amazing would it be to be a published author by the time I turn 17?! Anyway, Merry Christmas. I'm wishing for a christmas miracle...

urgggg.

I always thought that I wasn't pretty enough to have to deal w/ this stuff. There are rumors at school that 4 guys like me. I don't easily believe these things, but everyone is talking about it. Should I believe it, or are they just trying to see if I'll actually believe it and then laugh in my face? I know that one of them is true because he told me, but the other 3? I don't know, I guess I just have a hard time believing that guys actually like me. It's not that I think I'm ugly or a horrible person, but I have a history of trusting what people say too easily.

ultimate confusion

The higher I float, the more disappointed I am when my feet hit the ground again.
The more I tell myself I'm losing, the more my brain fights back, "I'll win!"

The longer I let these lies run my thoughts, the happier I am for a while,
but the happier I allow myself to become, the more depressed I am after the long miles.

The closer I keep it in vision, the less I let myself explore the rest of life.
The faster I watch it take me over, the more I become unknown due to strife.

The sooner I see it , the less the wound will seem to sting,
yet the less I inch toward it, the farther I'll be from this mess that seems to be running things.

realization

So, I decided that I should be happy with my life. I have such an amazing life, but lately, I've been sorta hung up on the fact that I don't have a boyfriend and never really have. I'm 14. I have time 2 find that right one, and eventually, I will. I'm starting highschool in a few days, and I've decided that I'm going 2 use that 2 open myself up. I'll meet new people, reconnect with the old, and let God lead me 2 who and what I need.

my instrument

yes, I play the flute and I thought that this would be a nice way to introduce talking about my current life, aka marching band. So, I don't hate band, but I would prefer to only do concert. I'm terrible at marching and I have to get up way to early every morning to go to band camp. Father made me join, but hey, maybe I'll learn to like it??? OK, so how cool would it be to own a bamboo flute like this adorable panda?!

changes

I'm really nervous about starting a new chapter in my life. Today was the first day of marching band, and it really made me think. I don't feel like a highschooler. I'm still just a little kid. Yeah, I'm nervous, but I just ultimately don't think I belong. I have friends at school and everything, it's just... have I had enough experience to be accepted into an older group of people? Will people see my willingness to meet new people and make new friends. It doesn't seem like it. I'll get used to the fact that I'm in highschool now, but right now I just don't know how I feel about a new school, new people, new judgements, new teachers, new lessons... new everything.

Ode to a Nose

It smells for Ur brain
and holds all Ur snot.
Though it is stuffy,
solid it is not.

For if Ur nose was solid,
as it isn't I'm sure
that might affect
Ur ability to snore.

The holes have a purpose.
They do indeed.
They give U an important
way to breathe.

So now U see
why noses are needed.
Now go and make better
the way Urs is treated.